My Life is Not My Own.

This song will really minister to you if you allow it to.


Part 2

Some Relationships are Just Hard To Explain

I know it is more so how I explain it and not so much that people interpret me the wrong way. However, it really annoys me how people get the wrong idea of the relationship that my mother and I have. Our relationship is awesome! I could not imagine having a better mother. No she isn't perfect and neither am I, but I don't know anyone that I would trade her with.

My mom supports me in everything that I do, and is my number one cheerleader. I can call her about anything, whenever I need something even if she doesn't have it she GETS IT! It's not like we don't hug, it's not like we don't ever talk.

People get the impression though that we don't have a good relationship because of a few things.

-they haven't seen us around each other
-they have seen me give her the side eye for saying something crazy (lol)
-I mention that I haven't really "lived" with her since I came to college
-I mention that I don't always talk to her on a regular basis and do not feel the need to


When I started college and had no intention of ever moving back into her apartment ever again. Not because she and I don't get along but because I do not want to be in her actual apartment. I hate everything about the actual physical apartment as well as where it's located, the neighbors and a host of other things. So I never stay with my mom if I can help it. I stay with friends and other fam during school breaks and people think that's strange.

As far as the talking thing we just aren't clingy people! lol Like seriously my mom and I do not feel the need to "check-in" with each other everyday. We are not the most socialable people either and picking up the phone is more of a task than something fun to do. My mom never nags me for not calling her she is happy when I do but she isn't sitting at home pouting because I didn't.

I guess our relationship is unique and I can't get mad at people for not understanding it but it really is annoying to me that I have to explain all of this before people get it.

Falling in Love w/Jesus

[orig date:4/09]
Lately I've been getting a little caught up in the "rules" Jesus wants me to follow. That isn't so much a bad thing, because of course they're are commandments and things The Lord wants us to follow and it is important that we are obedient to the word of God. However, I just had a thought-

I can't forget to take time out to just stop what I'm doing and let The Lord love on me. If all I do is focus on getting through the tough stuff then I may not have all that it takes or the foundation to stand in The Lord. For me what has always brought me back to God is remembering how it FEELS to be loves by Him. I mean to literally be sitting in a room and knowing that The Lord is there and giving Himself to you. It's so AMAZING! Sometimes you just have to blank out and let Him hug you. It's a hug like no other can give, not a boyfriend/girlfriend, mother or father, it's a hug of unconditional love.

I guess you really know that His love is unconditional when you're going through something or you feel guilty because of sin and you take the time to allow Him to reach out and fill you with His love and it's so overwhelming that you could mess up like you did and still know that He wants you.

That's the awesome part...all that I've done...and He still WANTS me. wow!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1QuYNmfxUw
So if you catch me forgetting to spend time falling in love with Jesus please remind me!

A Confession

I don't trust that my friends can handle my Christianity so I already count them as lost...

I think the people in my life are so scared that my life changing is going to rock their worlds also, and I'm thinking to myself that they better get ready for something to shake. It is not coincidence the people who are allowed into your life and neither are your circumstances. I am thankful for the relationship that I have with Jesus and it is one of my prayers that others are blessed by it.

Back to the Business

Hello peoples!


I started back to school this week. Here is what I am taking

Macroeconomics 211 (Im scared)
Math 116
Sowk 301-Human Behavior
Sowk 305-Social Work with Children
Sowk 407-Male/Female Relationships

Overall I'm pretty happy with my schedule and excited to get into my classes. I just added Human Behavior a few hours ago so tmw(Thursday) will be the first time I'm going since I missed Tuesday's class.

<3

"...growing ONE day at a time! moving forward ONE babystep at a time! sometimes I fall, but I fall FORWARD...some days it's easy, some days it's a STRUGGLE...sometimes I know why I'm doing this and some days I wonder if it's worth it...more than anything I know that God is my everything and more important than all else and everyone else is serving Him. {Love.Grace.Mercy.Compassion.}..."

My Facebook status from today. When i thought to write this it encouraged me so I didn't want to forget it. Reminds me that as I'm growing up more and more than are changing and as I put things behind me and move forward there will be days where I'm thinking why in the world am I doing this? What's the point? But truly I do know the purpose and for that reason even when I struggle I'll never fail as long as I lean on God and keep walking with Him.

untitled

This time in my life has been life changing. Really for months so much has been going on-way more than I can talk about here. I am really encouraged to know that God is working on me so much. He has been showing me so many things about my life and it is amazing.

I am so thankful that He has taking the time to specifically show me things in my life that He is not pleased with and how to change them. Of course many times when He has shown me things I have been faced with having to choose to change a behavior that I am really comfortable with but the sacrifice of what pleases me is worth it.